It’s a feeling hard to beat: you gaze out from behind the decks to see the bride and groom aloft on the shoulders of their friends, every male present with a tie tied round his head (and a large percentage with their tops off too); a mass of people with arms in the air, bellowing out the transcendental chorus of Take That’s Never Forget, just as a bridesmaid, too hammered to keep her balance a second longer, careers headfirst into a speaker stack. And you think: “Yes, I’ve done my job.”

After a day of vow-saying, speech-making and relative-placating, you need the release of a no-holds-barred (or rather drink-everything-at-the-bar) wedding disco. Indeed, it’s hard to imagine a wedding without one. But that’s exactly what

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