“I was paralyzed for a few days with the fear of ‘How did I survive this relationship?’ ‘How did I get through unscathed?’ “She said.

Check out the full story on “20/20” this FRIDAY, October 5th at 10:00 PM ET / 9:00 PM CT on ABC

In 1996, then 25-year-old Emily Noble worked as a cocktail waitress at the popular Lancaster, Pennslyvania nightclub and bar, the Chameleon Club.

“We were a family at the Chameleon Club,” says Noble. “Everyone grew up in Lancaster. We all enjoyed working together. “

Emily Noble can be seen here in this undated photo.

“He was very kind and accommodating,” Noble said of Rowe. “He loved talking to people about music because that was his passion.”

Rowe’s good looks, welcoming demeanor, and love of music made him quite attractive in Noble’s eyes. And it wasn’t long before the popular DJ noticed the petite, green-eyed, blonde cocktail waitress.

Although he was a second marriage, the two began to secretly go out.

“At first he made me feel good,” recalls Noble. “It was nice to get attention from him and he was also very generous with his affection.”

The couple enjoyed connecting with music and trips to the beach. After two months of the affair, the relationship turned serious, and Noble says she gave Rowe an ultimatum: either admit to his wife that he was unfaithful, or their relationship was over.

PHOTO: Raymond Charles Rowe, 49, is featured in an undated booking photo released by Lancaster County Prison.

Raymond Charles Rowe, 49, is pictured in an undated booking photo released by Lancaster County Prison.

Noble says Rowe told his wife about the affair and the two soon separated. While Noble looked forward to growing closer with her new romantic partner, the opposite seemed to be happening. Shortly after Rowe and his wife split up, Noble’s relationship with her also changed drastically.

“It was less about getting to know each other and having fun,” she said. “It was more about the divorce than our relationship.”

Noble says Rowe told his wife about the affair and the two soon separated. While Noble looked forward to growing closer with her new romantic partner, the opposite seemed to be happening. Shortly after Rowe and his wife split up, Noble’s relationship with her also changed drastically.

“It was a red flag when we started dating that he was married twice,” she said. “Like every 25-year-old, I’ve made some bad decisions that I’m not remotely proud of.”

In retrospect, Noble said that Rowe was emotionally abusive, controlling, and possessive. Things are “his way or the highway,” she said.

Noble also said Rowe toyed with her insecurities by whispering things like “You are worthless, you are not good”.

The longer the two stayed together, the more frequent the abuse, belittling and control behavior became. Noble admits that one of the reasons she was drawn to the DJ was because of his confidence and strong personality.

“I was never afraid for my life when I was with Ray,” she said. “But he was very scary and intimidating.”

After a year of relationship, Rowe was given the opportunity to play for three months in a club in Chile. Rowe was always career-oriented and jumped in on the offer. Rowe and Noble decided to stay together during this outreach, but the long-distance relationship began to fizzle out and the couple only called once a week.

“When he left I thought it was the much-needed break that I needed to get some clarity about whether I wanted to continue,” said Noble.

When Rowe returned to the States, he and Noble decided to split up and go their separate ways. Soon after, Noble decided to pursue a life and a career in New Mexico and lost touch with her ex-boyfriend. She hasn’t seen or heard from Rowe since 1997.

PHOTO: The 1992 murder victim, Christy Mirack, is featured in an undated handout photo released by the Lancaster County District Attorney.

The 1992 murder victim, Christy Mirack, is pictured in an undated handout photo released by the Lancaster County District Attorney.

Last July, Noble was on her way to an interview when she received a call from an old colleague at the Chameleon Club.

Her friend told her that an arrest had been made in the decade-long unsolved murder of the popular and lively elementary school teacher Christy Mirack. The suspect in custody, her friend continued, was Raymond Rowe.

Noble’s immediate answer was, “I’m shocked,” she said. “Really shocked. But not surprised. “

Noble says her first instinct was to call the Lancaster prosecutor to provide details about an emotionally abusive relationship with Rowe.

Rowe was charged with criminal homicide and sexual assault. He is expected to be tried in May 2019. His attorney did not immediately respond to “20/20” requests for comment.

Noble is still grappling with everything that has evolved over the past few months. She said she felt sick for days after the arrest and was disgusted and collapsed when she saw photos of Mirack.

“I looked like her,” said Noble. “My hair was the same color. The similarities between the two of us are there. “

PHOTO: Lancaster County District Attorney Craig Stedman announces charges of the 1992 murder of Christy Mirack during a press conference at the Lancaster County Courthouse in Lancaster, Pennsylvania on Monday, June 25, 2018.

Lancaster County District Attorney Craig Stedman speaks during a press conference at the Lancaster County Courthouse in Lancaster, Pennsylvania on Monday, November 25th.

Emily Noble can be seen here in this undated photo.

Emily Noble can be seen here in this undated photo.

Noble realizes that this case is now in the hands of law enforcement, the courts and a jury. Most of all, however, she focuses on making sure that after all these years, Christy Mirack’s family finally gets the closure they have been looking for.

Check out the full story on “20/20” this FRIDAY, October 5th at 10:00 PM ET / 9:00 PM CT on ABC

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